The truth is that parenting can be lonely…even for us married ladies. I sat at my table tonight eating dinner alone, again, as my husband had tagged me out and took over trying to get our daughter to bed. I kept her up so he could see her when he got home, so she was overtired and fighting sleep hard. I had waited to eat so that we could eat together for once as he often has school or work in the evening. It felt so sad to sit there eating alone, reading a book on my phone, something I used to really enjoy. The solitude and quiet that I used to enjoy now seemed deafening. You’d think it might be nice after listening to the babbles and cries of a baby and the family members we visited all day, but instead it was just filled with the absence of my spouse and best friend.
This loneliness is all too often the case even when he’s home. It’s often one of use preparing dinner while the other watches our daughter. One cleaning up after dinner while the other takes care of bath time and pajamas. Me upstairs nursing our daughter and putting her to bed while he watches TV downstairs. Then, sometimes him coming up and taking over for me if she’s being especially difficult while I go downstairs. On a good night we finally both get to sit in the living room and share our day and maybe catch up on the news for 30 minutes before we’re exhausted and head to bed. On a really good night we get to eat dinner together, usually with our daughter as well. On a really bad night she doesn’t fall asleep until we’re too exhausted to do anything but go to bed.
I imagine this is our reality for some time to come. We plan to have more children and it will be many years before they are
doing bedtime on their own. But I know when we’re old and grey and free to eat together every night these times will feel like a blip and will be sorely missed. And I know that tomorrow when she wakes up
and smiles up at me it will all feel worth it.
Just know that you are not alone if you too are feeling lonely and missing time with your spouse. Don’t forget to lean on other mamas for support either in person or in one of the numerous Facebook groups for moms. There’s always a virtual friend online somewhere who is also up for the 5th time that night with their little one. Sometimes it helps to just know that you aren’t the only one going through this…but there’s no shame in admitting that you are struggling with it more than others. If that loneliness becomes depression please seek help.
Any other lonely mamas out there?! Share your experiences in the comments below or on my Facebook page.